YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
