i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
