i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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