I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
