Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
