I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
