Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
