What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
