who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
