We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
