Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
