im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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