I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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