Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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