So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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