A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have fence marks all over my body
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
