I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor