Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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  (248): i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid. http://tfl.nu/3rci
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (475)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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  (561): Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir! http://tfl.nu/b2ab
  Replies (18) Good night (2711) Bad night (578)
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  (353): View more from

  I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number

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  (353): I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number http://tfl.nu/ogfc
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (4097)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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  (228): yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations http://tfl.nu/eytk
  Replies (16) Good night (5578) Bad night (554)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.

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  (781): The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over. http://tfl.nu/6slb
  Replies (18) Good night (521) Bad night (4378)
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  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (3232) Bad night (7812)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

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  (732): Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day. http://tfl.nu/xpns
  Replies (29) Good night (6233) Bad night (2531)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent

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  (410): I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent http://tfl.nu/8hat
  Replies (9) Good night (983) Bad night (3753)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Oh God. You're going to jail

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  (352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu
  Replies (30) Good night (6000) Bad night (1507)
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  (562): View more from California

  My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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  (562): My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me. http://tfl.nu/w036
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (2384)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?

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  (970): There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/w1xa
  Replies (12) Good night (6381) Bad night (1008)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

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  (407): Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple. http://tfl.nu/3342
  Replies (4) Good night (1722) Bad night (633)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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  (717): Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter http://tfl.nu/zraa
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (1607)
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  (315): View more from New York

  WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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  (315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1416) Bad night (305)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up

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  (202): you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up http://tfl.nu/s6ka
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (196)

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