what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.