at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.