He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
