on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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