forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
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If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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