Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
