Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
