Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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