So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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