if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
