just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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