I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize