Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just gift wrapped bread.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
