Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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