Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize