Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize