oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
