even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
