awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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