You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it's like iHOP with fire
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
