would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
