Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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