he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She tied me up with her honor cords...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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