so explain again why im purple
no
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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