This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
