At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
