they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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