He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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