Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You ate ashes out of my bong
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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