i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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