apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
