How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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