those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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