i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
