...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
