i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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