Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
