That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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