I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize