ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
