chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
