More tranny stories later!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He better not be in your backpack
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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