I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
