We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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