I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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