I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
