never play flip cup with pint glasses
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sext me about skeletons
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
