but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
