Moan for me like Helen Keller
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i now understand why vodka
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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