I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize