Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
