lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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