I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
