You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
