Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
