Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize